What no beer 2? (The alternative edition) – The Session #59

I Almost Always Drink Beer, But When I Don’t…

This months Session topic is brought to you by Mario of Brewed For Thought, he knows we love to talk about beer, but wants to find out what else tickles our taste buds.

But hang on, I love beer, I want beer, he said “I almost always DRINK beer, but”…. Hmmmmm he said I can’t drink it but…?

Well my first thought was absorption, in a beer bath maybe?

My first attempt failed, after several hours of lying there waiting for the effects to kick in..NOTHING. I wasn’t remotely tipsy and gathered no real enjoyment from the experience whatsoever. I ended up with a bad back and a Rogue Dead Guy crown cap stuck in a place I’d rather not go into further..

Trying again, I opted to try a more commercial approach as a larger more comfortable vessel was obviously required. Sadly a larger vessel means more beer was required and the costs had to be shared in a communal fashion…

FAIL!! Have you seen the colour of that stuff? All those bubbles too, something tells me this beer is SKUNKED!


I couldn’t see the point in this one….

Trying another method, through the nose, achieved slightly better results.  Well I snort of got the hang of this after a few attempts, initial hop aromas disappeared quite quickly, flavours were good until the sneezing started. This then had a detrimental effect on the colour of the beer in the bottle though, maybe one to try with Floris Cactus?

Instillation then a partial success but not overly pleasant, next up, perhaps I could try getting my beer fix via food?

Initially all the signs were promising, it smelled lovely (although it wasn’t the best looking can of Brewdog Punk Porn IPA I’d ever seen). However this method is seriously flawed, the grease from the chicken ruined any carbonation the beer had for starters. I’m also a bit of a sad do about drinking beer from the correct glassware so drinking beer through a dead chickens neck hole was a step to far. Lastly temperature control was a major issue….

On return from the burns unit at the North Staffs Ear, Nose and Throat Unit, I realised that during my spell under their expert medical care, I’d stumbled across another method that had previously eluded me, the dreaded BEER ENEMA!!

Sadly (what am I saying, of course it wasn’t sadly), I didn’t get past the preparation stages here.

From reading up on the subject I’d been led to believe the liquid was meant to be warm, this brought flashbacks from that goddamn Punk Ass Chicken to my mind. Bugger that I thought (excuse the pun) I need my beer cold. So I made my preparations, as shown above and it took me right back again to that damn crown cap from Rogue which still hasn’t seen the light of day.

Time for a mug of tea methinks… 😉

What no beer? – The Session #59

I Almost Always Drink Beer, But When I Don’t…

This months Session topic is brought to you by Mario of Brewed For Thought, he knows we love to talk about beer, but wants to find out what else tickles our taste buds.

For me there are a few, wine is one. It was wine that led me down the path into beer blogging as my first experience was writing mini reviews for Naked Wines. They are an online wine merchants that offer more of a social networking vibe, customers can chat to each other, help to select new wines and even offer a dedicated support network to favourite wine makers. Through a monthly subscription in return for cash back, money paid then allows NW to support wine makers who normally wouldn’t get their wine into UK drinkers homes. I don’t tend to drink much wine these days though I have to admit, (apart from the 6 bottles of Port I acquired for Christmas), so I visit the site less often. I did make a few friendships through NW though and still keep in touch which shows at least that the concept works. If you like a drop of grape juice then I’d definitely recommend giving them a try.

Another passion that is further up the pecking order is a good quality Whisky, preferably single malt.

From early taste experiences of often harsh mainstream blends I rarely drank Scottish whisky, opting for smoother Irish Whiskeys such as Jameson’s and Bushmills instead. I then went full circle and had my first taste of Lagavullin which is a rich smokey peat driven beastie that totally blew me away and from then on in I was hooked.

Through beer and in particular beer twitter folk such as Ghosty, Steve, Andy and Paul to name but a few I’ve sourced a few beauties this Christmas including the absolutely lovely Edradour and Bunnahabhain. I’ve still got a lot to learn here and marvel at just how many distilleries Scotland alone has to offer.

None of these though do I turn to as regularly as my other “can’t do without” love. Yes if it’s an alcohol fix I need then wine and whisky serve me well but each pale into insignificance when compared to how much tea I drink.

I’m not talking “poncy” tea either, like a finger in the air, china teacup Earl Grey, or a one of those “sound utterly fantastic but taste generally awful” fruit teas either. I want a good old English style everyday cuppa. Strong, with milk, sugar and served in a large steaming mug. My particular preference is Yorkshire tea, it’s a strong blend that always delivers punchy flavour.

I’m fussy about how it’s made too. It has to be piping hot for starters and a nice rusty colour, like an Essex girls fake tan on a Saturday night. Some people try to get this colour by a lack of milk but that is an epic FAIL, the result, dishwater!

As my Mum would say, “you could stand a teaspoon up in that”…

No, you need to allow the bag or tea leaves time to stew a little to release all that lovely taste and colour, then carefully balance the milk added as to not spoil your creation, one sugar please and voila, tis done. 😉

Lastly I do like a good coffee too, I don’t drink it much these days as my old bean to cup machine bit the dust. I am fascinated though by the talk of the fantastic range of coffees being sold by Hasbean, the site looks great and he updates videos regularly to subscribers about the latest releases.

New Years resolution is to hater some cash and get a new machine and sign up….


P.S: Check out the alternate edition of The Session 59  😉